You may be one of those parents who never raises your voice at your darling child, but most of us yell. We’re not proud of it, but we admit there has been some yelling about some things. And even though we know it’s not the right way to deal with things and that shouting isn’t actually going to get our kiddos moving faster in the morning, we’re human and our voices still get loud on occasion.
Amanda Rueter gets it and has been there herself. She’s a mental health counselor and founder of the Messy Motherhood log and she found a new way to try to stop her own yelling. She posted physical reminders - things she could see and touch - around her house to remind her of her mission to stop yelling at her kids.
Rueter’s son’s favorite color is yellow, so she cut hearts out of yellow paper and posted them in “hot spots” around her house, including his bedroom door - “to help at bedtime,” on the fridge - “to help at dinner time” and on the rearview mirror of her car. The hearts serve as a reminder to stay calm and they’re an anger check-in tool, so she can use a calm-down strategy if the anger is building up. You don’t have to use hearts, it can be anything that gets your attention and helps you consider if the way you’re interacting with your kids is getting tense. We all need reminders and this also sets a positive example for our kids about dealing with our emotions. No matter how much you yell, it’s never too late to try to do better.